Wife of hash smoker

My husband has had issues with hash smoking. It has put a huge strain on our marriage and family. I’m not sure he wants to quit but I need to figure out how to get him out of our lives if he doesn’t. What resources are available to us and also to me in the event that he needs to move out?

Kvinne, 35 år fra Hordaland

RUStelefonen svarer:

Refer to chat with one of our counselors.

To sum up: first of all, you should have a conversation with him that clarifies whether or not he is actually motivated for changing his habit. If he is, he should have (or make) a very clear plan as of exactly how he is to succeed with making a change – e.g., what exactly does he feel that he needs in order to succeed, and what exactly does he feel that stands in the way of a possible success, and must be dealt with accordingly? This process may involve setting up an appointment with his general practitioner, who can recommend him to a suitable treatment program.

However, if he is not motivated for making such a change, it is up to you to decide whether or not you’re willing to stay in the relationship. From what you are writing, it seems you might have reached this point already. Many people in a similar situation choose to present an ultimatum; either quit the habit, or quit the relationship. Whether or not you should give such an ultimatum is of course entirely up to you, but for your own good, it is important that you present him with a clear and firm viewpoint on what you can and can not accept. Then, of course, it is also important that you stand by this viewpoint.

If you need help getting him out of the house (and out of your lives), you are advised to contact Barnevernet or your local police station.